Behind Hogwarts Doors
by Flower Princess66
Summary: A compilation of one-shots. What really happens behind the doors of Hogwarts. based off the story "Dear DA Members" by Bellamort500. No couples are specified in this fanfic. some OOC characters for comedy purposes. marked as complete but I may add more chapters
1. Bouncy Castle

"Please"

"No"

"Please"

"No"

"Please"

"Miss. Granger, under no circumstances will I allow you to put a bouncy castle in the middle of my classroom." Mcgonagall Said sternly to Hermione as the Gryffindor pouted.

"But why?" Hermione was not going to give up without complaining.

"Because, Miss Granger, a bouncy castle in the middle of a classroom will only cause a distraction and none of my students will get any work done. Much like right now so I suggest you all get back to work." At her words everyone went back to transfiguring their rocks. Except Hermione who simply continues to stare down Mcgonagall. Suddenly Hermione's face lit up in anticipation.

"Professor? What if I were to transfigure the bouncy castle? Then I would still be working." Mcgonagall never got the chance to answer before Hermione turned, pulling out her wand and point it at the desks moving them to the side of the room. Then turning to a rock that had fallen off one of the desks. She waved her wand and then the rock started expanding an contorting until it finally stopped growing and there was a bouncy castle in the middle of the transfiguration classroom.

Mcgonagall could do nothing but stare slack jawed as Hermione smirked triumphantly and the rest of the class cheered and swarmed into the newly formed bouncy castle

"See professor, completely educational." Hermione turned to see that Mcgonagall was gone. "professor? Where'd you go? Oh well, Move over guys!" and with that Hermione joined her fellow Gryffindors in what she dubbed the Palace of Bounciness.

Harry bounced over to her "You do realize this is going to have to go in the letter to the DA members right?" he asked her, though the seriousness didn't reach his eyes and the fact that his hair was messier than usual because of the jumping didn't help either.

"I figured, but it was so worth it. Do you know where Mcgonagall went?" she asked after a moment.

"Probably to get an aspirin and have someone else come deal with this." Hermione simply nodded and continued bouncing.

The group wasn't bothered until Dumbledore showed up to usher them off to their next class. Coincidentally Mcgonagall's next class showed up at the same time as Dumbledore. Even worse for Dumbledore the Weasley twins were in that class and as the fifth years got out to head to charms they ran in and started jumping around, Shortly followed by Lee and several other classmates.

The headmaster sighed and gave it up as a lost cause considering Minerva wasn't even there to teach the class anyway. With that he walked out and to his office where he immediately changed the password in hopes of avoiding being dragged into a situation like this again.

* * *

Several minutes earlier:

Mcgonagall got as far away from that crazy scene as fast as possible. She thought Granger was the sane one but it seems Spending so much time with Potter and the Weasley's had corrupted her. With that saddening thought in mind she headed off to the headmasters office to let him deal with it while she took a nap.


	2. Potty Mouth

"Harry Potter, Get your arse over here!" Harry froze on the spot and spun around to find none other than Ginny Weasley stomping over to him angrily. Harry gulped immediately terrified. The only thing he could think of right now that was scarier than a mad Ginny was a mad Hermione.

He turned his head rapidly breathing a sigh of relief that Hermione was no where in sight so it was only one girl mad at him, he immediately tensed up again when he saw the look on Ginny's face. He didn't know what he had done but whatever it was she was not happy about it.

He frantically looked for an escape but could find none. Harry had unknowingly back up until he was against a wall and ginny would be there any second. He looked forward and had no more time to find an escape because Ginny was in front of him huffing angrily. he tuck her hand out to reveal, to Harry's immense shock, a picture of his face.

"What is this!" she shouted, though they were the only two to hear it considering the hall wa swarmed by students on their way to the great hall for dinner.

"Uh, a...picture?" Harry asked obviously not understanding what was going on.

"Yes Harry and what is it a picture of?" she was seething at this point.

Harry though completely horrified of the witch in front of him, mainly her bat bogey hex, just answered the question hoping not to anger her more. "My face." His voice came out shakily, not at all how he wanted.

"And do you know where I found this picture?" she asked before Harry could ask her the same question.

"Ginny I swear I have no idea what is going on, or where that picture was, or why it was even made in the first place." he said trying to back up some more but only pressing into the wall.

"I found this..this..this thing in the girls bathroom on the toilet seats! And you want to know what else? I walked in to find more than one girl snogging it! So where did they come from Harry?" She said with her voice getting more threatening the more she talked.

"Ginny I swear I have no idea what this is about. I didn't even know they were in there."

"Well I suggest you do something about it before I see someone else kissing the toilet seat. Got it?"

"Right away Gin don't worry I'll deal with it. I'll put it in the letter to the DA." Harry breathed a sigh of relief when she visibly relaxed.

"Okay good. Come on lets get down to dinner." She grabbed his hand and dragged him through the halls and around students still crowding the hall. He noticed that once in a while she would glare at someone but couldn't tell who.

"So…" Harry started "Who exactly was it you found kissing my picture." Ginny froze for half a second before turning around smacking Harry in thee head and stormed off into the great hall. 'Well I had to try' Harry thought before entering himself and walking over to the Gryffindor table to eat.


	3. Letters to Pettigrew

It was a normal day in the Gryffindor common room. To a normal student nothing would be out of the ordinary, but Harry Potter was no normal student. Most may think the reason for this would be the fact that he was 'The Boy Who Lived', but that assumption would be wrong.

The real reason would be because he spent too much time around the Weasley's mainly Fred and George. He learned from them that not everything is as it seems. For one thing Hermione was sitting in the corner scribbling away on a piece of parchment.

Most 'normal' students would assume she were doing the potions essay that was due the next day. However if you were 'not normal' and always hung around the Weasley's, well you still might not know what was really going on but he also hung around Hermione Granger who happened to Be hanging around Fred and George more so than usual.

This again wouldn't make anyone too concerned unless, like Harry, you were 'not normal'. well, While Hermione is 'not normal', she is also incredibly studeous and if you really knew her you would know she had finished that essay the day it was assigned a week and a half ago. Hermione was up to something and based on the looks the Weasley twins kept shooting at her and then each other they knew what that was.

Now, on a typical day Harry would ignore this until it became a serious issue that would involve someone becoming hurt. Everyone knows ignorance is bliss, but this was not a typical day because Dumbledore had approached Harry in the halls earlier today. According to Dumbledore Someone had been sending letters to Peter pettigrew AKA wormtail and he had received a letter asking for him to put a stop to it because it was causing Peter to have breakdowns.

Now normally Harry wouldn't care, in fact he would laugh much like Sirius had when he found out but Dumbledore wasn't as amused and asked Harry talk to her about it. With an exasperated sigh Harry strolled over to the brunette. Hermione didn't notice Harry right away so coughed to get her attention. She looked up distractedly and mumbled a hello before returning to her letter.

With one last sigh Harry spoke. "Hermione, I know you're sending letters to Wormtail and while Sirius and I both appreciate the gesture, and I normally wouldn't have a problem with it Dumbledore isn't amused by it and asked me to talk to you." he said taking a seat because from the look in her eye this would be a while.

"I don't see what's so bad about it. Pettigrew is a git and deserves every letter he gets." she said tossing her hair that had fallen in her face back.

"I know that Hermione but Dumbledore doesn't think the same way as we do and he wants it to stop."

"What about freedom of speech, they can't control me!" Hermione was ranting and would start rambling any minute now if Harry didn't step in.

"Hermione I realize that but Dumbledore isn't happy about it and we really shouldn't be sending letters to death eaters anyway, it could be dangerous and I don't want you to get hurt."

"Fine I'll stop writing to the death eaters. You're going to put that in the letter to the DA aren't you?" Hermione asked.

Harry smirked "Yup."

Harry stood to go up to his dorm when another paper in front of her caught his eye. "You should probably stop sending letters to the Dursley's too." and with that he left the common room for the bliss of sleep and getting away from his friends.


	4. Dueling Practice

"Petrificus Totalus"

"Stupefy"

"Expelliarmus"

"Wingardium Leviosa"

"Impedimenta"

This had been going on for the past few minutes and by now the rest of Dumbledores Army had stopped their own practicing and watched Neville and Seamus going back and forth.

Everyone's heads were turning back and forth watching each spell leave one persons wand and fly out at the other. Suddenly Neville and Seamus's eyes widened when they saw the spells currently coming at them.

"Protego!"

"Finite!"

They both yelled out their spells but it was no use and they were hit. Seamus started rising in the air until he hit the ceiling. He kept getting banged against it while several students below chuckled.

Neville on the other hand had gone stiff and fallen to the floor. Harry sighed. It was the same thing every time.

Neville and Seamus pair up. Neville and Seamus start yelling out any spell they can think of. Neville and Seamus can't put up shield charms, and the rest of the DA has to help them. Whether they are hit with Tarantallegra and start dancing uncontrollably or the barfing slugs charm and are chucking up slugs (which you can ask Ron, it is NOT a good experience).

"Okay everyone. Ron, Lee, the twins, Lavender, Padma, Parvati, and Luna help Neville. The rest of us will work on getting Seamus down." Harry instructed and everyone got to work on their specified person. It took a couple tries but eventually Neville was un-petrified and being helped up by Ron. Seamus however to a little longer because he kept moving.

Eventually after more than enough tries of aiming a spell and hoping for the best best, Hermione cast the immobulus charm on him and he finally stayed still.

Unfortunately though he was frozen when his face was squashed against the ceiling causing Fred and George to laugh at him making them no help. After a couple more minutes Seamus fell to the ground, landing on a pile of pillows Hannah Abbott conjured. Dean walked over to give his friend a hand up smirking the same way he does every time this happens.

This, of course, made Seamus glare at him just as he does whenever Dean smirks like that. "Guys." Harry stepped in before Seamus started yelling at Dean who was trying to contain his laughter. "This is getting out of hand."

"Harry's right mates." Ron agreed with his friend

"It's the same thing every time we have a meeting." Hermione added.

Harry continued "Being totally honest you two aren't the best at defensive strategy and it's becoming a distraction for everyone else."

"How is our practice a distraction?" Neville questioned.

"Yeah. Nobody else has anything to do with it." Seamus muttered.

"We do when we have to stop what we were doing to help you lot because you didn't get any shields up and you both are hit with a spell." Lee called from the back of the group.

"Look I think it would be best for all of us if you two had different partners. It's nothing personal but we all know by now that we aren't going to learn anything from Umbridge so we have to learn it here but we don't get anything done when you two pair up." The wizards in question didn't respond. They simply nodded their heads.

Hermione now stepped up and looked around at the group for a moment before turning back to Neville and Seamus. "Okay. Seamus why don't you try partnering with Ernie, and Neville with Justin. Are you all okay with trying that?" The four nodded their heads and everyone walked back to different areas of the room to work.

Once Hermione and Ginny walked away to continue practice Ron looked to Harry and Asked "This is going in the letter isn't it?" "Oh yeah." With that said they went back to dueling and needless to say meetings went much more smoothly after that.


	5. Billy Bob Boo

"Hahahaha"

"Oh no." Harry moaned as he heard the tell tale laughter of Fred and George Weasley. Harry debated trying to sneak off without them noticing but then realized who he was dealing with and that sneaking off simply would not happen with them. The second he stepped foot in the common room they were upon him.

At first nothing seemed wrong, like they were doing nothing wrong, but that was the biggest give away. "Okay what have you two maniacs done now?"

"Why Harry it hurts us-"George started with Fred then continuing "-That you would just assume we were-" "Up to something" they finished together. feeling his migraine coming Harry decided it best to just get it over with.

"Yeah, well I know you guys too well so what are you doing?" The twins looked at each other and grinned then with a wink at Harry they were dragging him off to a secluded corner of the common room and Harry wondered briefly if this would be the end of him.

When they got to the corner Fred and George pushed him into a seat and walked over to a large box. Harry's eyes were now glued to the box that may very well do what Voldemort couldn't. With a last glance at each other Fred and George picked up the box to reveal… a rabbit. Wait what? It was a rabbit but it was huge, much larger than a normal rabbit should be.

"Is that.." Harry choked out.

"A rabbit? Yes." Fred answered. "His name's Billy Bob Boo."

"Why is he so big, and why does he keep walking into that wall?"

George stood next to him and answered. "To answer your first question, we don't know. We found him by the lake and looked so lonely so we took him under our wing."

Fred joined them next to the chair. "And technically he's hopping, not walking, but to answer your second question he's drunk. You see our furry little friend here has a bit of a drinking problem."

"Did we mention there was a case of empty fire whiskey bottle when we found him."

"Yeah the poor little bugger was completely out of it." Suddenly the rabbit turned to Harry and jumped at him.

"Ahh!"

Harry screamed as the rabbit jumped on his head and pulled at his hair. "Billy Bob Boo! You get off of him right now!" Fred reached for the rabbit only to have him hop to the other side of Harry's head out of reach. Now George tried to pry the their new pet off of Harry. "Yeah, Harry's a friends not a Slytherin."

Billy Bob Boo tried Jumping again but George caught him. "You taught it to attack Slytherins?"

"Well it's a work in progress as you can obviously tell." Fred admitted.

"Clearly." Harry said, albeit with a shaky voice. "Now if you don't mind I'm gonna go work on the Letter to the DA." Harry jumped up from the chair and ran off before that beast of a rabbit could attack him again.


	6. Stop Blaming Me

Harry had a headache coming he just knew it. Today was going to be one of those days, he just knew it. When he woke up everything was normal enough. Then he made the mistake of getting out of bed, which lead to him going downstairs, which lead to his current problem.

"Hey Harry!" Hermione yelled walking up to him. She had that evil glint in her eye that made most people run screaming when it was directed at them. Harry being one of those people turned to run away but slammed into none other than Fred and George Weasley.

"Harry how could you?" Fred asked.

"Yeah, that is so not cool Harry you can't do things like that." George finished.

"What are you talking about?" He asked trying to back away from them but still stay a safe distance from Hermione. His efforts were in vain because Hermione suddenly appeared at his side.

"Why we're talking about Blast Ended Skrewts you set free in Snape's office yesterday of course." Fred replied jovially, clearly enjoying this.

"Yeah Harry, We know you're the Boy-Who-Lived but that does not mean you can go do whatever you want whenever you want."

"Yeah, besides, that's our job."

"Look I don't know what you two are talking about. I never did that."

Hermione finally cut it. "Well what about dying Mcgonagall's hair green? How could you do Harry. The poor woman was in a right state when she looked in a mirror." Their conversation drew the attention of others in the common room.

Harry gulped as he saw Lee Jordan stand from his seat in front of the fire and strolled over. "Harry, mate, you gotta stop this." Harry having given up on getting out of the common room sighed and answered.

"What exactly did I do Lee?"

Lee shook his head disapprovingly. "You know exactly what you did Harry. You set off Dung bombs in Flitwicks office."

some third year stood and called across the common room." Yeah, and in Professor Sprout's office too."

"I didn't do any of that you guys did."

"It isn't nice to blame people for the things you did Harry." Ron said as he walked down the stairs leading to the boy's dorms.

"That's exactly what you're all doing to me!"

"Harry, shame on you. Not only are you blaming your friends but innocent third years." Neville had a smirk that was truly worried him. It was worse than the twins but not as bad as Hermione. Though he wasn't sure if anyone could scare him as much as Hermione, but she had the ability to scare anyone.

"Shame on you Harry." Parvati and Lavender said in sync." Soon enough the whole common room was shouting, "SHAME SHAME SHAME!" Harry couldn't take it anymore.

"Stop it! Stop blaming me!" and with that he ran out of the portrait hole. Right before the portrait shut Harry was able to hear laughter coming from his fellow Gryffindors. Harry mumbled to himself as he walked to the great hall and thought 'This is so going in the letter.'


	7. Motto

Why? Why can't we just have one DA practice where somebody doesn't drive me insane? It's all Fred and George's fault really. It started out with them being their usual pranking Weasley twin selves but that just wasn't enough. Oh no, they had to go and get Hermione they get Hermione on their side all hope is lost. Let's face it nobody wins against Hermione.

Today though, the twins had been smirking at me and then looking away and giggling. I didn't know why but I had a bad feeling i would find out soon. I wasn't getting anything done with them distracting me like this so i gave up and walked over to them.

"Okay. I don't know what you're planning but whatever it is you might as well get it over with now."

"Why Harry-" George started. "what on earth would make you assume-" Fred continued and then they finished together "that we are up to something?"

"Oh I dont know. aside from the fact that I've known you two for the last five years and you both made it very clear that you're always up to something." They tried looking innocent but that is not possible for the pranking duo and they burst out laughing instead.

"Well you see Harry George and I have been talking with Hermione and the three of us decided that the DA needs a motto."

"Yeah You, Hermione, and Ron made the DA and Ginny named it so it only makes sense that Fred and I, the last two Weasley's in the DA, make a contribution too." Harry just looked at the for a minute to see if they were serious. They were.

"Hermione! Could you come here for a minute." Harry called to Hermione who was currently practicing with Cho on the other side of the room. Without turning Hermione called out a sure and disarmed Cho with a simple flick of her wand and made her way over to us. "What's up Harry?"

"You and the twins thought we needed a motto?"

"Of course, all the cool clubs have them. Did they tell you what it was yet?"

"No but we're about to announce it to everyone." Fred said then stood on a chair with George doing the same next to him. George started off their little speech. "Attention all DA members we have an announcement."

"It has come to our attention that we do not have a motto.

"Yes and we simply cannot continue like this because as I am sure you all know all the cool clubs have them."

"And we are after all the coolest club in existence."

"So we would like to inform you all of our amazing"

"spectacular"

"Extravagant"

"Awesome new motto-"

"Let's go kidnap donkey's" They screamed the last part and the majority of the room, being everyone except Hermione who already knew the motto and Ron and Ginny who were used to their behavior looked at them owlishly.

Suddenly the room was filled with chatter. It varied from laughter to praise of our 'new motto' to questioning the twins sanity but that last one wasn't anything new. Harry just shook his head this was too much.

"Absolutely not that is not our new motto. I forbid it" He said to the twins. They looked scandalized

"On what grounds!" they demanded

"On the grounds that it is stupid." Harry said calmly. "This is going in the letter. If you want to make a motto so badly at least make it something semi sane."


	8. Don't Dress Like Dumbledore!

Harry blearily blinked his eyes open. Stifling a yawn he got up and pulled apart the curtains around his bed so he could get ready for the day. He showered, got dressed, and brushed his teeth all while still half asleep. Harry trudged down the stairs into the common room and plopped himself down on the couch to wait for Ron and Hermione so they could go down to breakfast.

Once he heard movement on the stairs coming from the boys dorm hoping it was Ron. You could imagine his surprise when he saw Dean, Seamus, and Neville come down wearing long white beards with a hairtie seperating it into two parts about halfway down and gasses. Actually, they looked exactly like Dumbledore. At this point most would probably think that Harry wasn't affected by events like this anymore but that would be wrong. In fact Harry suddenly resembled an Owl quite well considering how big his eyes got and with his head slightly quirked. The three Gryffindors didn't even give Harry a second glance as they walked out the portrait hole.

Harry was still staring after them and didn't snap out of it until Hermione and Ron were both standing next to him trying to get his attention. Harry moved his head slowly expecting his two best friends to be dressed like Dumbledore too. Luckily for his sanity they were dressed normally.

"Did you see how they were dressed?" Harry asked not sure if it would be better if he were seeing things or if he actually just saw that.

"How who was dressed harry?" Hermione asked with a concerned look on his face as if he were the one that had been corrupted by the twins and was slowly losing his mind. No that was her, not him, her! Harry stopped for a minute at his thoughts, maybe he was spending too much time with Fred and George too.

"Never mind let's just go to breakfast." The other two just shrugged and followed him down to the great hall. On the way from the tower to the hall Harry started to calm dow as he didn't see anyone else dressed strangely. His peace of mind flew right out the window the second they stepped into the great hall. Harry's eyes went wide again as he looked around the room and saw every member of the DA dressed as Dumbledore.

Harry quickly turned back to his two friends and saw Ron now dressed like all the others. Hermione smiled and lead Harry to the gryffindor table and sat him across from Fred and George, who Harry realized, along with Hermione, were the only ones not dressed up like the headmaster.

"Is there a problem harry?" Fred asked jovially.

"Yeah mate, you look like you're in a bit of shock?" George added barely hiding his laughter.

Harry looked back and forth between the three of them before finally speaking. "Why are you three the only ones not dressed like Dumbledore?"

The three in question smiled before answering. "Well you see Harry After George and I took that aging potion last year-" "-we knew that these little get ups just couldn't compare." George finished Fred's sentence and Harry turned to Hermione. "What about you?" he said pointedly staring at Hermione.

"Well I tried it on but the beard just didn't look right with my hair." Hermione said this with a bit of regret in her voice at not being able to join in. Harry looked around him again and then started pounding his head against the table. In between the bangs of his skull hitting the wood, if you listened carefully, you could hear Harry muttering about adding this to the letter to the DA.

The hall went silent as Dumbledore stood up at the teachers table to make an announcement "Now it has come to my attention that many of you students are trying out a new look and I must say, you all look fabulous!"


	9. Spello-tape and Broken Wands don't Mix

Harry walked around the room of requirement with Hermione checking on the students progress. They were working on stances and how to hold their wands for maximum balance and aim.

It was a pretty normal meeting when you thought about it. No one (i.e. Fred and George) had caused any distractions. There were no bouncy houses, nobody as writing letters, and nobody was discussing DA mottos. Even more shocking was that everybody was listening to him for once I mean really, how often does that happen. Harry could actually count the amount of times on one hand.

Harry decided to test the waters and see if they would continue to listen to him. "Okay, everybody line up in front of the practice dummy."

Hermione stepped to the front of the line and demonstrated the wand movement and incantation like we decided she would do everytime before the others started practicing.

Padma, Parvati, Cho, Ginny, Fred, and George went up one by one and disarmed the dummy without problem. Then it was Dean's turn.

Harry was watching his stance and the grip he had on his wand when he noticed something off. There was something white wrapped around the wand. Harry was a second too late to realize what it was. "WAIT STOP!" It was no use. Dean fired off his spell. His wand movement and incantation were both done perfectly. Unfortunately the white thing Harry saw on the wand was spello-tape.

Instead of disarming the dummy the spell backfired and caused a small isn't it?explosion in fron of Dean. When the smoke cleared it was silent. That is until Seamus got a look at Dean and ended up on the ground laughing. Most of the others unfroze and were laughing now too.

Three exceptions to this were Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They were still staring open mouthed at him. Harry walked up to Dean and calmly took the wand from him. "This is spello-tape, isn't it?"

"Yeah, why?" he replied hesitantly.

Ron walked up next followed shortly by Hermione who waved her wand to clear the soot off Deans face. Doing this however just made the rest of the DA laugh even harder. The explosion singed off Dean's eyebrows.

"Dean, mate, you can not fix a wand with spello-tape. It just won't work" Ron explained slowly.

"Yeah just ask Ron he would know, remember what happened when he tried to use his wand after it broke when he and Harry drove thee flying car to school second year? That's why Lockhart's crazy now, well that's why he's in St. Mungos anyway." Hermione added in.

"Okay guys calm down!" Harry shouted over the laughter still filling the room. "Okay guys, if your wand ever breaks DO NOT under any circumstances use spello-tape to fix it. We have an emergency fund for this kind of situation. Just let us know and we'll sort it out to get you a new wand. By the way guys, expect this in the next letter."


	10. Deny All Involvement

Dumbledore's Army was currently gathered in the room of requirement. The only difference from their usual meetings was that instead of mats and practice dummies, there desks and chairs.

"Okay guys." Harry started wheeling over a large chalkboard and accepted a rock Hermione transfigured into a piece of chalk "Today instead of dueling there are some things we have to go over."

The majority of the group groaned in boredom, the remainder having either zoned out or been asleep on the desks. "Come on guys this is important. Now, first we are going to go over how to identify a death eater." Harry said this while turning his back to the others in order to write the first subject of discussion on the board.

"Okay, now who can tell me one way to identify a death eater?" Harry asked as if he himself were actually a professor which made about half of the room roll their eyes while they others either feigned interest or actually tried to answer the question.

"Yes, Cho?"

Cho Chang smiled as she said, "they wear masks."

"Okay good, but what kind of masks?" Harry countered

Nobody knew how to answer this though several of them had seen them before abut couldn't describe it, a lot of others simply didn't know.

"I thought this would be the case so Hermione Ron and I used Dumbledore's pensive to go back to our memories of seeing them and then transfigured plain plastic masks Hermione had her parents send into them.

Hermione bent over and pulled the masks out of her bag and passed them around the room. "If you see someone wearing these masks be very cautious and get back up as soon as possible but do not under any circumstances cause a panic. Okay what is the other most obvious way to identify a death eater?"

Nobody raised their hand this time so Hermione answered. "All death eaters have a dark mark tattoo on their left forearm. This is used both to summon Voldemort" most of the room flinched at the use of his name "and for him to summon them."

The room, which had become silent at the use of the dark lords name, had become very attentive to the lecture. At least it had for about ten minutes, which was more than any of them, had expected. After those ten minutes people started getting bored again and wanted to get this things over with. This had by far been the most boring meeting they had ever been at.

They had covered a couple of more topics when they came to one that intrigued them. "Alright, so what do you do if you send Umbridge a howler?" Harry asked still with his serious expression. He was met with blank stares. "Uh, what?" asked Ernie Macmillion.

Harry wrote the new topic on the board and turned to wait for a response. Her was just met by more stares. Finally Lee Jordan raised his hand with a smirk on his face. Harry nodded at him to talk. "After the howler turns to ash you jump on top of the table and bow for your adoring fans who are now cracking up at the absolutely shocked face of Umbridge."

Harry looked at him with a thoughtful look on his face trying to decide if the older boy would actually do that. In the end he decided that he, along wit several others in the room, would do exactly that.

"No. If you send Umbridge a howler you deny all involvement. She can't prove that I or anyone else was involved in the howler she'll be receiving tomorrow morning at breakfast. Remember that and don't put your name in the Howler and you're good. This is a major point I have to make and I am going to put it in the DA letter too. Oh and make sure to disguise your voice."

With that the meeting ended and everyone left to get on with their lives and write Howlers to Umbridge


	11. Corrupting Influences

Something was wrong. The day was sunny and bright. Birds were chirping outside the castle walls. Fred and George hadn't made Harry want to pull his hair out. Wait- that's it. Fred and George were nowhere to be seen.

In fact Harry hadn't seen Hermione since that morning either. Harry jumped up from his seat on the grass in front of the school.

He looked around him warily before making his way back into the castle. If the twins _and_ Hermione were missing at the same time something bad was going to come of it. Harry searched every floor, hallway, and room.

He found Ginny while he was searching the first floor and even got her to check in the girl's bathrooms but nothing. Harry was freaking out now.

Hermione was smart, super smart. The twins had already started to corrupt her but if it got much worse things could get bad. With her brains, if she become like the twins they were all doomed.

Harry had asked everyone he came across, even people he had never spoken to in his life. It didn't matter who they were or if he even knew them. They probably thought he was crazy the way he was going on but it was a small price to pay.

One day they would either be thanking him for saving them from what could virtually become a disaster or they would be wishing they had listened and believed him when that disaster did come.

Harry recruited Ginny, Ron, and Neville to help him look as well. They knew how great the consequences would be if Hermione was left alone with the twins. They knew that they could not sit by and just let it happen.

Finally, after an hour of looking they all met back up in the great hall. There was only one place they hadn't looked yet, the room of requirement.

They ran. Whizzing past Filch and Mrs. Norris and up the staircase before it could move and set them off course until they came to the hallway. Harry quickly walked back and forth past the wall thinking that he needed to find Hermione and the twins.

When the door appeared they barged. There were shocked gasps as they came in because the people already occupying the room obviously weren't expecting any interruptions.

Harry looked around the room it was practically empty except for the table in the far end of the room where Fred, George, and Hermione were sitting with dozens of papers strewn across it.

"What's going on her?" Ginny asked suspiciously.

"Nothing." Came the reply from the three in question.

"Then what are all those papers?" Ron asked trying to get a better look at them

"It doesn't matter" Hermione told him flippantly as she and the twins hurriedly collected the papers.

George dropped one of his but before he even had the chance to turn to it Neville had summoned it to him. Fred and George looked at each other then back at Neville with identical worried expressions on their faces.

Neville read the paper aloud "Materials: five gallons of glue, snakes, charmed toilet seats- what is this?"

Hermione sighed in frustration. "Might as well tell them, they won't give up until they know now. Fred George and I are planning a prank on the Slytherins. That is a list of some of the things we need to pull it off."

Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Neville stared at Hermione as if she had suddenly grown three heads. Hermione Granger was pulling a prank on the Slytherins with Fred and George.

"No!" Harry shook his head adamantly. "Absolutely not, I won't allow it! You two have to stop being corrupting influences, especially to Hermione. She is bloody brilliant if she gets any more like the two of you the rest of us will be doomed!"

Harry turned to walk out the door and go get an aspirin. Before he left he turned and gave the twins a warning look "this is going in the DA letter." And with that said he left.


	12. Don't Bite Me

"Oi, Potter!"

"Oh Merlin, what now?" Harry said to himself as he, Ron, and Hermione paused their walk to charms class and turned to see none other than the infamous Weasley twins making their way over to the trio. "Can I help you two with something?"

"So Harry-" George started.

"You were strangely absent-" Fred took over.

They finished together "from breakfast this morning?"

"I wonder why that was Fred?"

"I'm curious about that myself George."

Harry stiffened in front of them causing Ron and Hermione confusion and the twins to smirk. "I just over slept that's all." Harry's voice was unsteady as he said this. Anyone in hearing distance could clearly tell he was lying and apparently was nervous about something.

"Really, because we think there's more to it than that. We think you were avoiding us and we think you know that we know why."

"What are two talking about Fred?" Asked Ron who had gotten lost in the conversation. He scrunched his face in confusion and looked at his older brothers expectantly.

Fred and George looked at each other simultaneously before George spoke up. "Well let's just say that Potter here did something that Hermione always used to threaten to do but never actually followed through with."

Hermione became even more confused at this, how did she get involved in this conversation? Then it hit her. "What did he write your mother about?"

Ron blanched, the twins smirked, and Harry tried to back away but was stopped by Fred and George.

"Blimey! What did they do that you would write to mum about?" Ron asked after coming out of his stupor.

"Well in my defense I did warn them and I even put it in the letter to the DA." Harry spoke quickly eyes darting between the two red heads in question. "I told them that 'I can and will tell your parents if you bite me' but they didn't believe me and did it anyway. I don't know why I didn't even do anything, I was just trying to write my potions essay."

"Forget why we did it Potter that's not important." Fred stressed to the boy with the lightning bolt scar."

His twin took over from there. "Yeah, so what if you had a bite mark or two on your arms for a little while, we were just forced to endure a howler from MUM!"

"Well I don't know what to tell you guys, but would you look at the time I have to get to class, bye!" harry sped off before he finished his sentence with Ron trailing behind him. Hermione stayed back with the twins for a moment.

"So why did you two bite him?" she asked once the other two were out of sight, which at the speed Harry was going didn't take long.

"Well you see Granger that is a very interesting story there." George threw his arm around her shoulders as he said this.

Fred Threw his arm over her other shoulder. "You see Mione dear the answer to your question is that we just thought it would bother him, he seemed so serious doing that essay that we thought he needed a distraction and what better way to do that than by annoying him. Mcgonagall says we excel at that."

"So you see we were really just had Harry's best interest at heart. And to think he repays us by writing mum. I shudder at he memory of that howler."

_**Earlier that day in the great hall**_

They never even saw it coming. Everything was going so well that morning too. They had a prank set up for the Slytherins that day and the thought alone was enough to put a smile on their faces.

That's why it came as such a shock when the owl swooped in and dropped the letter in front of them. They didn't even realize what it was a first, not until their fellow Gryffindors froze mid conversation. Only then did they look down at what exactly was dropped in front of them.

"Oh no" came from the identical boys sitting next to each other.

"FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY I AM APPALLED! WHAT ON EARTH WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR MINDS WHEN- SNUFFLES STOP LAUGHING- WHEN YOU NOT ONLY INTERRUPTED HARRY FROM HIS STUDIES BUT BIT HIM? WHAT ON EARTH POSSESSED YOU TO DO SUCH A THING?YOU TWO ARE GOING TO DRIVE ME TO AN EARLY GRAVE! IF I HEAR THAT YOU TWO HAVE GOTTEN INTO ANY MORE TROUBLE BEFORE YOU COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS THERE WILL BE TROUBLE!"

There were blank stares directed at Fred and George from all around the hall. Even the staff were giving them strange looks, except for Dumbledore who was distracted by a bowl of Sherbert Lemons.

They stood from their seats and looked around for the culprit of this heinous act. The cause of the Howler, however, was nowhere to be seen. Realizing this they made their way out of the great hall in search for their dear DA leader.

As they continued their search for Harry George leaned over to Fred and whispered to him. "Good thing the DA is a secret Mum would lose it if she knew we were in a secret illegal club learning to fight against death eaters."

Fred had no reply other than to nod his head as at that moment they spotted the messy black hair of Harry Potter.


End file.
